T minus 6 days...

To being Mrs. Charles W Stanton.
Wow!
I am really starting to get excited! He is a wonderful amazing person, human as we all are, patient, kind, understanding, loving, smart, funny, handsome...
I could go on :-)
There are a few little details to complete the planning for this weekend. At the end of the day, we're just excited to have our closest family and friends be there when we exchange vows. We're learning to dance together, going to have incredible food and spectacular cake, and just a fun weekend all the way around. The ceremony will be simple, the party small. And it will be our day. The first day of the rest of our life together.
I love you Sweetie!

A reason, a season, or a lifetime...

I've spent some time wondering lately if I don't speak English 100% of the time. I've recently had several misunderstandings or flat out conflicts with people I care about very much. This has had me looking in the mirror several times over the last few months and wondering what I'm doing wrong. It's in my hard wiring to always assume everything is my fault, and I've had some long periods in my life where I had relationships based on this I'm pretty sure. So I spend all this energy making sure everyone around me is happy, no matter how this drains me. I have managed to sever ties with some of those who took advantage of that and were giving nothing in return. In the meantime, relationships with others have fallen apart and I'm not sure why. I have been trying to give...there are only so many times you can ask someone if they need anything, or do they want to hang out, or what can you do to help them, and when the answer over and over again is no, or nothing, or you make plans that constantly fall apart, that you begin to wonder if it matters to them as it does to you. So you take a little step back to see what happens, and things fall apart. This sucks, you feel selfish, like you're playing some stupid game, and at the end of it, you lose the relationship. But you look in the mirror and know that you tried. You tried over and over to see how you could help or what you could do, and the other person pushed you away. After 11+ years of this game with one person you got tired of the games and stopped playing. Peripherally, several other relationships fall apart and you wonder if its you?
UGH!
So I don't know what to do anymore. I guess the people who are staying in my life for longer than just a reason or a season understand that life happens, you try when you can, you don't give more than you're capable of because it drains you and leaves nothing left to give anyway, and when you need help you always know you can ask for it. That email forward comes to mind lately... "People come into your life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime".
Someone I love very much once told me it was difficult to get into my inner circle, but once there, I don't let go and I'd do anything for them. Everyone has their own path through this life, everyone has lessons to learn. I hope your crossing of my path has been pleasant, and I hope you'll stay awhile. If not, I wish you well in your journies, and I'll think of you from time to time.

Getting there...

So the icky stomach bug took more than 2 weeks to get over. Man that was some bad timing!! So one of the side effects of this is that my usual marathon of unpacking has not happened. This has resulted in some feelings of "unsettle"... but its slowly coming together. There are no more boxes in our bedroom, only one box in the living room, and down to 3 boxes in the office. So we're getting there. We did also get the wedding invites out last week, and there are a few stragglers going out this week. Hard to believe the wedding is less than 5 weeks away! So many little details to finish up. I'm overall pretty relaxed about the whole thing right now...will see if it stays that way! Thanks Stacey for making such simple, beautiful invites!
:-)
In other good news, my dad got a job, I sold my colt, my fiance and son are happy and wonderful, so life is really pretty good!

Goodbye Old Friend...

What a Monday it was... I was just about to run out the door for work when I noticed a major issue with Tigger. Tigger was my 16 year old, 25+ pound orange cat. Chip had been threatening to get him a lasagna pan to sleep in :-) He was laid back, easy going, loud purring, and just generally an all around cool cat. He tolerated my son lying on him, loved a good belly rub, and kept his harem of other cats in line. He actually outweighed my son until quite recently! He was affectionately known as "Biggie Tig", and he was the pimp daddy around here. When Pakhet moved in (Chip's beautiful girl), he would just walk toward her with this attitude of "I'm in charge here, no one hangs on my block without my permission"... to which Pakhet usually gave the finger and ran off. He was always first to eat (and never missed a meal!), first to drink, first to the box, first to catnip, occupier of all sunbeams, and always, ALWAYS had first pick of who got to sleep where with the humans in bed. He will be sorely missed, and fondly remembered. Tonight when monkey asked "Where's Tigger momma?", I wasn't quite sure what to say. He asked if Tigger was still at the doctor, and if he'd come home tomorrow. I told him Tigger wasn't coming home anymore. Monkey replied, "Well, he should go to Florida, the doctor there can fix him. Then somebody else can have him." Ahhh...3 year old logic :-)

Life Overwhelming....

Life is crazy sometimes! One thinks they can take on the world all at once...then the Universe throws a monkey wrench into the mix to slow you down.... Nothing like moving and having a stomach bug at the same time...ugh! And here we are more than a week later with the stomach bug still So my usual mode of operation in moving, where I stay up the first night until EVERYTHING is put away is not happening. Ha! We've been here a week and there are boxes everywhere Such is life. But in the "count your blessings" department...my mom is a nut! and a Saint! She has been here pushing the honey and I to keep moving along... My honey is infinitely patient with my OCD-ness, and carrying boxes of books upstairs :-) My son loves the new place and has settled right into the neighborhood with the kiddos around here. He literally wore himself out last night playing...and we've attempted to fish in the highly over-fished Monument Lake.
So a few more boxes tonight...and somewhere in all this I have GOT to get the wedding invites out! Wow! That is only 6 weeks away now!!!! I am so excited to marry such a wonderful amazing man! I am also excited to have all these big life changes over with and just coast for awhile...until the next one ;-)